Twelve gifts of Christmas Wisdom... :-)

🎁1) remind yourself that we are all winging it-there’s no shame in that. Life doesn’t come with a ‘how to adult’ manual-we are ‘winging it’, while we learn to fly- & that’s okay!

🎁 2) take away peoples power to belittle or humiliate you, by laughing at yourself & admitting your mistakes.

If someone says:

 “you’re weird!”

Say:

“you’re right, I am weird. Nothing wrong with that-I quite like it!

I’d rather be weird than cruel or the same as everyone else” 

-& you’ve removed their power to make you feel bad, making them less likely to try & do it again.

-while you may not YET believe that ‘weird’ is not a big insult, as a posed to a quirky compliment-you may believe it to be neural or perceive it positively, with time!

You decide the worth of some words- so challenge your perceptions of what the words means.

Weird, strange, odd, or whatever doesn’t have to be bad despite the ableism or stigma! 

-& if the words worth can’t be changed or challenged to something positive, just know that the words people say to harm you, say far worse things about them, than their words ever could about you.

You can still try to retain your power-

so say:

“that’s not a very nice thing to say.

If you’re right- then I’d rather be ***** than take my life out on other people with meaningless cruelty.

Have a nice day!”.

I’m weird- I love it, because it means I’m different & it’s weird NOT to be cruel to others in this world- so I’d rather be weird!

Bullies are all about creating power imbalances- so if they perceive they have no power to hurt you, they won’t try as much to cause harm- so fake it, till you make it!

🎁 3) the beauty of life is in living for now, not for later. Working yourself to the bone in the hope of a better future, (which is never guaranteed) doesn’t help us feel more content.

Find passion & joy in the journey-Not the destination & you may find a reason to be content in the everyday.

🎁 4) take time out to appreciate the present moments in daily life.

Next time you’re stuck in traffic-challenge your perceptions to create opportunities.

Instead of:

‘Arg! I’m late! I’m angry & annoyed! Hurry up!’

Accept the truth that you’ll be late, & use that time stuck, to appreciate.

Try to Think instead:

‘Yes. I’m late but I can’t change that right now.

I may have made a mistake but I’m human & allowed mistakes so long as I don’t try to hurt anyone.

I’ll try to count my blessings-it least I have a car- walking would be far harder!

It least I can put some music on I enjoy.

It least I can look out the window at the rain & the wind & the dancing tree leaves & appreciate that nature, is still beautiful & therapeutic no matter how stressful life is.

I’ll try to control the things I can-I’ll look out the window & try to be grateful’

learn to appreciate the beauty in the ordinary & you will see life as a wondrous gift.

🎁 5) make time for ‘me time’, loved ones, passions, hobbies & wellness. When you have no time left, do you really want to look back at all the time & opportunities you had, but ignored, pursuing something that was ultimately meaningless in the happiness of life?

🎁 6) even if it’s not your month, your day or even your year, know that friends will be there for you. When they’re not-try to be friends with yourself.

Challenge your misconceptions of yourself on a daily basis & learn to not hate yourself & your mistakes so much.

🎁 7) life can be realllly rubbish sometimes. A proper sh1t storm-so when you are sailing the storms, search for the lightening strikes that light up the skies, even just for a second.

Search for the light, & try to have faith in the ‘power of yet’, because One day you’ll find a rainbow-you may even crash to shore & find flowers growing through the storms- remember you’re still a seed growing, even if you’re planted in darkness. 

🎁 8) be yourself-everyone else is taken. Find your tribe, if people want to change you, they are not your people.

🎁 9) do your best to put yourself first- but also consider actually doing something that isn’t for you-try to help other people. 

Help others with random acts of kindness-not because you want something back, but because it’s the right thing to do & justice is important.

Volunteer, donate, do charity work, fundraise, do charity bake sales or runs, do government/council work for social justice/ accessibility, make or sign petitions, with permission-share peoples stories, advocate or do random acts of kindness.

Learning to let go of : ‘me’ ‘my’ ‘mine’ ‘I’ ‘alone’

mind set, & replacing with:

‘Us’ ‘our’ ‘we’ ‘together’

Mindsets, can be really healing.

Help others, & You’ll soon notice how all your perceptions & priorities change & before you know it, you’re likely a different-potentially improved-  person. 

🎁 10) feel your emotions.

Find somewhere quiet & scream to the clouds high above.

Turn the music up in your car, and sit inside and scream for a moment, & get out & say “I feel better now!” & resume your life.  Try to manifest positive energy even when your feeling rotten & don’t believe!

Let it all go in a strongly worded message & then press delete.

Grab a pen & some paper & scribble & scratch & rip & crumple & furiously ruin the paper to your hearts content-& then throw it away.

Feel your emotions, they are valid & real- & they are guiding you.

Your anger tells you where the injustices are

Your anxiety is telling you where you need support

Your fear, helps you overcome problems.  

Your grief tells you where you need to focus your energy’s in order to recover.

Your frustration tells you, that you are on the right path even if you don’t feel it- it tells you must try & try again, to succeed-trying new ways & new things, if need be-even if you feel stuck.

🎁 11) give yourself time.

There’s no rush in life-the time table Society teaches us of what is acceptable is not very accessible or healing.

You can take your time with education (I did & I aced it as a result!), you can take your time learning to find yourself, take your time in relationships or take your time being single.

Milestones don’t matter-your health does. You matter, more!

Take your time reaching those milestones-because all that matters, is spending your time wisely.

Spend your time slowly & with great care-& choose quality experiences over quantity of milestones or belongings. 

🎁 12) surround yourself with a diet of positive role models - everything you consume can work towards healing or breaking you.

so make sure your friends & family are helpful & want to help you win at life (if you are not treated well in your family, you don’t owe family anything just because they’re blood).

In this way you can choose your family wisely - ‘blood runs thicker than water’ - which actually means, (despite popular belief) that the strangers/brothers of war that bleed together, are stronger than the water canals of birth (friends are stronger than family in some cases).

Likewise, everything you consume can be inspiring-your diet, your social media, your family, your hobbies: so surround yourself with people, ideology’s & things that try to accept you, & empower you to be yourself-not just tolerate you. 

🌟Happy holidays, friends!🌟

What gifts of wisdom do you have? Let’s chat!